Parents have more influence over their children than the parents realize, according to William Wieczorek, director of the Center for Health and Social Research at Buffalo State College, State University of New York, and an expert in the prevention of substance abuse, particularly alcohol abuse.

"Parents are the number-one influencers on teenagers," said Wieczorek. "Parents may not have as much influence on a sixteen-year-old as they do on a six-year-old, but they still have more influence than anyone else. Peers become more important as children grow up, but parents remain primary."

Wieczorek, a long-time leader in Western New York efforts to curb underage drinking, said that parents have an important role to play during prom season, when illegal drinking sometimes has heartbreaking results. One of the simplest things parents can do, said Wieczorek, is to make a simple rule against drinking—and state it.

"Too many parents think that underage drinking is going to happen no matter what they do," he said, "and so they don't say anything. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy."

What should parents say?

"'We expect you not to use alcohol before you're 21,'" said Wieczorek. "It's that simple. Be explicit, not philosophical."

According to Wieczorek, parents should start telling their children not to use alcohol at age 12 or 13. "By the time they're 15 years old," he said, "the pressure is intense. Most kids who binge at 15 had their first drink a few years earlier."

Parents are sometimes tempted to host drinking parties for their teenagers. "They think they're creating a safe environment," said Wieczorek. "But in fact, they're telling their children that they expect them to drink, an attitude that kids understand to be permission."

Buffalo State's Center for Health and Social Research helped to establish a council, Px20, that seeks to drive down alcohol abuse through prevention. The first step in Px20's model is to change social norms. "So you enforce the laws against underage drinking," said Wieczorek, "whether it's a keg party in a field or a house party supervised by parents. As arrests mount, fewer people take part, and you change social norms from acceptance of under-age drinking to non-acceptance."

For parents facing their children's prom season this year, Wieczorek suggests, "Be a parent, not a friend. Most of the things your child values are things that you control—the car, the cell phone, the computer. Make sure your child knows there are consequences if he or she breaks the rules. Don't be afraid to use their cell phones to check up on them; you just may give them an out when they need one."

Finally, he said, parents' behavior is important. Especially for adolescent boys, who are more likely to indulge in underage drinking than girls are, the fathers' behavior is important. "These boys may be more likely to share things with their mother," he said, "but they imitate their dads."